Hello, hello and Happy Friday! When chatting with my couples about the wedding planning process, a question that often gets asked is :: HOW do you narrow down your guest list? And, what a great question!! Today’s wedding environment and flexibility among tradition allows for you to create a guest list with as many or as few guests as you and your fiance´ choose. Typically, the difficulty comes with where to draw the line. While there is not an answer that works for all couples, consider the following:
Step ONE: (Like literally the First Step After “Will You Marry Me” and “Yes!”) Come up With a Budget
The size of your guest list is the greatest factor in determining the price of your wedding many items: food, drink, tables & chairs, size of your venue, and the amount of decor are all tied to the number of guests you will have.
Starting with a budget will not help you narrow down your list. But, it is SO important in deciding how many people can be on the final invitation list. See this post for basics on how to start to configure your budget. Once you decide on the style of your wedding (casual barbecue buffet or 5 course sit down dinner) and get some quotes from your favorite caterers – you will have numbers to help you calculate an average cost per head beyond your other wedding expenses. Then you can see just how many people you can afford to have at your wedding to stay in your budget.
To narrow down your list to get the wedding back in your budget:
Have an A list and a B list
Anyone on the A list is someone you can not imagine not inviting to your wedding. Immediate family and close friends. Now think of people who will be a part of your FUTURE together. You are not obligated to the friends from High School whom you have not spoken to in years.
The B list consists of people you would have fun with on your special day but aren’t a requirement: co-workers, extended family you haven’t seen in a few years, dates for any single guests, family friends – alternate adding B list guests (as the budget allows) with your spouse until your list is at capacity.
Make it Adults-Only
Make a rule across the board that no children are invited to the wedding. This is YOUR day and you get to decide. It is also ok if you allow children who will be IN your wedding and nobody else.
Let Singles Attend Alone
Married couples are one thing but your work colleague who just started dating someone does not automatically get to bring a date to your wedding. If the budget is tight with the A list you already decided on, it’s ok not to allow plus one for everyone.
Leave off Co-Workers
It’s not a requirement to invite anyone from work to your wedding, this includes your boss or your assistant, your teammates or anyone else. Especially if you are having a smaller wedding it’s understandable if co-workers are taken off of your list.
Talk to Your Parents
This can be a difficult discussion if they are contributing to some or most of the bill for your big day but you need to explain to them as gently as possible that this is about you and your fiancé and your new life together. Share the costs and the limitations and let them know you may need to cut the neighbors from the guest list.
If you need more tips feel free to contact me! After many years as a professional wedding planner and photographer I can help you find creative solutions as you plan and we count down to your big day.
Until next time!
Sarah Keenan, Photographer
Westland Farms Studio- Knoxville & Asheville | Blue Poppy Weddings- Outer Banks & Destination
